Everybody's Fool
by HeartOfAshes
Summary: Spike's POV at some of the most important moments in his life-unlife, starting off with when Cecily rejected him.
1. Rejected

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the songs that I'm going to use. _*prolonged sigh*_ I don't own BtVS. _*lip starts trembling*_ I don't _*tears streaming down face*_ own _*sobbing hysterically*_ Spike! This goes for all future chapters cause I just can't go through it again!

Thanks to spikaholic101 for being such a great pen friend and basketball-slayer for encouraging me to write more of this type of fic (I can't really call it a songfic cause the lyrics aren't mine). This is for you, guys!

The song used is Everybody's Fool by Evanescence (actual lyrics in italics/quotes - italics don't always upload correctly).  William is thinking about Cecily as he runs away from the party where she rejected him (just before he meets Dru).

                                                    ***********************

Rejected 

She was the one. The only one. I gave my heart to her and I would have given my life for her as well.

With three words she destroyed my world.

"You're beneath me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Perfect by nature" 

That as what I considered you to be. Beautiful and kind. Not one of the

_"icons of self indulgence"_

filling our society. I thought you were above that, Cecily.

_"Just what we all need_

_ More lies about a world that _

_ Never was and never will be"_

By spurning me you showed me the truth. This world has no place for someone like me, with hardly any money and no position. If this is what the rules of this world are like I'll not live by them – I'll make my own.

"Have you no shame" ? 

You would willingly befriend someone you considered _socially_ worthwhile.

"Don't you see me" ? 

I laid my heart at your feet – and you stepped on it.

"You know you've got everybody fooled" 

But now I see you for what you truly are.

I remember the thoughts going through my head every time I saw you.

_"Look here she comes now_

_ Bow down and stare in wonder"_

You enjoyed hearing all the young men who knew you say

"Oh how we love you" 

and you would smile shyly in acknowledgement. There are 

_"no flaws when you're pretending"_

to be the adorable girl everyone takes you for. Darling Cecily.

_"but now I know she _

_ never was and never will be"_

the woman I pictured her to be. The woman I loved.

"You don't know how you've betrayed me" 

You tore up the idea of you that I cherished. Yet still

_"somehow you've got everybody fooled"_

You won't be able to trick everyone forever.

_"Without the mask where will you hide_

_ Can't find yourself lost in your lie"_

I doubt I'll be the last to whom you will reveal your true nature.

_"I know the truth now_

_ I know who you are_

_ And I don't love you anymore"_

There is nothing more to be said.

"It never was and never will be" 

You were my end – in more ways than one.

"You're not real and you can't save me" 

No one can save me from falling into this abyss. But I will do everything in my power to drag you down with me.

"Somehow now you're everybody's fool" 

By your hand the two of us are damned.

                                                    ***********************

Hehehe, I couldn't resist giving William one last line of poetry at the end. 

How was that for chapter 1? Please let me know if you liked this! (^-^) 


	2. Falling in love with the one who kills y...

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters and certainly not the song!

A BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed: Vivid Butterfly, Spikaholic101, Konzen, Neri, M.R.Zero and Kenren Taishou.

Sorry I've taken so long to upload but I have to plead a crashing computer, exams, another WIP fic and having writer's block concerning this particular fic!

Spikaholic101: Of course I've continued it, I couldn't leave poor ol' Spike in such a bad situation, could I!?! (^.~)

Neri: Cecily is only shown in one episode as far as I know, 'Fool for Love' in Season 5, (my personal fav episode cause there are loads of flashbacks about Spike! ). 

Btw, if anyone would like me to answer questions more quickly you could leave your email address and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

The song used is 'Bring me to Life' by Evanescence (actual lyrics in italics/quotes).  After running away from the party, William meets Dru who sires him…

                                                                        *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**To fall in love with the one who kills you**

Running down deserted streets.

An emptiness inside me so deep.

Worse even than the initial pain.

Then through the darkness _you_ came to me.

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors" 

I felt you seeing into my mind. Feeling each and every thought.

_"Leading you down into my core_

_ Where I've become so numb…"_

I did not think it possible that I could ever feel again.

_"…without a soul_

_ my spirit sleeping somewhere cold"_

I was lost.

"Until you find it there and lead it back home" 

You brought me back to my senses.

"Wake me up inside" 

Give me a new reason to fight.

"Call my name and save me from the dark" 

Pulling me back from the edge with the words you spoke.

"Bid my blood to run before I come undone" 

A stab of pain at my neck. My life force ebbing away into your mouth.

_"Save me from the nothing I've become"_

You killed me before I could destroy myself completely.

"Now that I'm without" 

What I had left, you took.

My blood.

My life.

My soul.

"You can't just leave me" 

I wouldn't survive being rejected again.

I need you.

"Breathe into me and make me real" 

You gave me back some of what you had taken.

Though I was so weak, I felt a fleeting moment of strength.

"Bring me to life" 

I was dying.

But I knew that I would not remain dead.

I could see it in your eyes.

"Frozen inside without your touch without your love" 

You had to let me go for a while.

"Darling only you are the life among the dead" 

I know you'll be there to embrace me once more when I awake.

You have made me yours for eternity.

"All this time I can't believe I couldn't see" 

I was so single-minded – and so sheltered form life.

_"kept in the dark but you were there in front of me"_

I never realized what lay inside me.

You were the only one who saw my potential.

"I've been asleep a thousand years it seems  Got to open my eyes to everything" 

Everything takes on a new shape when one dies.

I must learn again from the start.

"Without a thought without a voice without a soul" 

My surroundings fading to black.

I draw the last breath I will ever need.

_"Don't let me die here there must be something more"_

In my last seconds of consciousness I feel you pick up my lifeless body and carry me away.

I knew that you wouldn't just leave me there.

"Bring me to life" 

That is what you gave me.

The gift of life.

For it is once I awaken from death that my life shall begin.

                                                            *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Sorry bout the last chapter cause some of the italics uploaded and some didn't, hope that the same thing doesn't happen this time. I also got some comments for this and my other songfic that the songs aren't exactly well known, well, those are unreleased but if you haven't heard this one, well, what planet are you from!?! *grin*

Please review! Pretty please! (^-^)


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